Looking Forward to..

Reading time ~3 minutes

These days I spend all week looking forward to the weekend. But then I get to the weekend.. And then I spend all weekend looking forward to the next week. And the cycle goes on and on and on and on and on and on and I really fucking hate it.

I still have little to no motivation. I havent worked out in our home (garage) gym in over a week. I only went on one bike ride last week. I did go for a run for the first time in like.. two months which was partially because I am like 98% certain I broke my foot at the end of Feb/start of March. The run went suprisingly well, but then my foot started hurting again.. so I guess it will be another week or two before I should try to run again. The only real physical activity I do consistently is my active flexibility classes (Hi Tiffany!). They are also the only real structure or consistent like.. routine I have (I have no routine besides doing those classes twice a week).

I think having an actual routine might help..but again, no motivation. Maybe if I write down some rough routine here I could stick to it. Can’t hurt to give it a try right?

8 AM Wake Up 9 AM Breakfast & Tea & Work 11 AM Work out (except not active flex days), Shower, & Lunch 12:30 PM Work 3 PM Walk (weather permitting of course) 4 PM Work

That would be so much better than my current lack of routine. Any sort of consistency would be spectacular. I dunno. We’ll see. I can’t really get any worse I guess.

Was thinking about maybe setting like.. one or two small goals for the day and seeing if that helps with motivation? I dunno. That might be something to hold off on till I actually get a routine down. Don’t want to set too many expectations and then disappoint myself when I do none of them.. which is definitely a pattern of the last few weeks. I want to accomplish some thing, I don’t do it or fail to meet that expectation and then I get upset with myself and sink a little lower mentally than I was at before and also have a little less willingness to set a goal and a little less willpower to do the thing.

Things I have baked to help abate the general anxiety:

  • Lemon & Raspberry Bundt with a Raspberry Glaze (vegan)
  • Chai Scones with a Cinnamon Glaze (vegan)
  • Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookies
  • Crumpets (accidentally vegan)
  • Sourdough Bread Loaf (thanks for the starter Rosie!) x2
  • Sourdough Cheese Crackers
  • Sourdough Pretzels
  • Apple Crisp
  • Sourdough Waffles
  • Tunnel of Fudge Cake
  • Sourdough Cardamom Cinnamon Rolls

Things on my list to bake:

  • Brittany Butter Cake
  • Cupcakes of some sort
  • Lemon Blueberry Cake (bought the stuff to do it and then lost motivation)
  • English Muffins
  • Chocolate Souffle
  • Triple Berry Pie

Still need to do something with the discard after I feed the starter this week (normally its a Sunday project, but.. you guessed it, no motivation).

I kinda wonder if anyone actually reads this. I can only think of maybe four people that I sent the website to ever. I kinda feel like I am just talking to an empty room and I probably am. Which is fine I guess. I just wondered.

-Kendall

P.S. Sorry about no post last week. I thought about it a few times, but never actually got down to doing it and as you may have guessed, disappointed myself for breaking the lovely weekly cadence I was building. Maybe this is me getting back on track?

Background images from Subtle Patterns (Subtle Patterns) / CC BY-SA 3.0

No Motivation.

I just don't waaaaaannnnna Continue reading

Week 4

Published on April 07, 2020

Week 3

Published on March 30, 2020